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Interested in working with us? Fantastic! After filling out the contact form, you can scroll down and fill out our prospective client quiz. Someone (a human being even) will get back to you shortly.

OPTIONAL FUN;
CLIENT QUALIFICATION QUIZ

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING DESCRIBES YOUR VIEWS ON POP CULTURAL REFERENCES FROM THE 1980S AND 1990S?(Required)

Inappropriate. These have no place in very serious business discussions.

Love them. Keep ‘em coming.

WHEN A VENDOR VISITS YOUR OFFICES, WHICH BEST CAPTURES YOUR HOSPITALITY STYLE?(Required)

You point them towards the vending machine and figure the hell with ‘em if they don’t have quarters.

You regularly offer water or coffee as just a nice thing to do.

YOUR EGO IS…(Required)

Roughly the size of North Dakota. If it’s smart or in any way a good idea, it pretty sure came from you. Your new policy is for vendors to genuflect before speaking to you.

Flexible. You have an ego like everyone but vendors don’t secretly refer to you as “Darth” or “Lord Vader.”

YOUR PAYMENT POLICY FOR APPROVED PROJECTS IS…(Required)

You value your suppliers and pay promptly for services rendered. And your Accounts Payable department is not located in Moldova.

Disregard the terms of proposal you signed right there with your own John Hancock. Consult a Farmer’s Almanac to see when next lunar eclipse takes place. Get sidetracked and listen to “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Bonnie Tyler. Wait for said total eclipse to take place. Wait for Arizona Diamondbacks to get a GM whose head is not in a position you thought anatomically impossible. Wait another 60 days after that. Then wait for the supplier to inquire about payment. Wait a few days to respond. While waiting, listen to “The Waiting (is the Hardest Part)” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Then ask if the supplier will take first installment payment in two smaller installments. Reward their flexibility by not even sending first installment on time. Wait until Meatless Monday. Watch movie “Waiting” starring Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris about a zany bunch of restaurant servers. Chuckle. Cut check on following Friday only if that Friday’s calendar date is a prime number. Place in mailbox after mail is collected so it won’t go out until following week. Go home and, at the family dinner table, explain the Golden Rule to your kids without even a hint of irony.